Waiting For This Cough Syrup To Come Down ∞

I’m not good enough for you.

Lol. I should go die.

Obviously I’m upset and you’re still gonna yell at me? You’re a bitch and I hate you.

Lol. Now I’m crying.

I should go die because I’m useless

Lol. Lets hope I don’t cry during this FaceTime.

(I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
(The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
(The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”

arpakassomomma:

captawesomesauce:

What do I do when I’m sick? I google “cat beards” on google images and here were some of the best. 

omfg